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drcdrx > Nutjob in the Narutoverse > 2 Chapter 2: I hate formula...
The world became red, loud, and overall chaotic, even for me and I made friends with the god of chaos. I couldn't make out too much but it sounded like people were upset about something in the delivery room. I think I heard someone say "mouths" and I realised they were probably freaking out about my mouth hands. I opened up my mouth to talk and baby noises came out. All this madness going on and I can't even make a witty quip. Damn it. Well, at least I can look forward to breastfeeding.

I hate being a baby. The one thing I was looking forward to I don't even get to do. Apparently my parents were too upset about the whole hand mouth thing and dropped me off at an orphanage first chance I got. The bastards. So here I am. drinking formula through my real mouth like a scrub and I see an old man bring in a little blonde bundle. Oh shit, I'm in the same orphanage as Naruto.

Its been a few years. I'm now 3 and it's official. Being an orphan sucks. Screw it. I decided to open up my link to Sue and see whats going on. We kept in contact after I was born, mostly because I was bored as hell.

"Yo, Sue. How ya doing good buddy?"

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"About the same. I took your advice for the last few dead people and they really freaked out waking up surrounded by tentacles. One guy even woke up and almost immediately yelled 'Not the butthole!' It was great."

"Damn. I wish I could be here. Its so boring being a toddler."

"Hahaha. I could easily fast forward things for you."

"Wait, what? You mean I could have skipped ahead just by asking you?"


"I hate you so much right now. Just send me forward to the academy and have me work on my speed and leaf control. Bastard."

"You got it good buddy."

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